Jumping into the unknown

Today was my last day of work. Another team member’s last day was yesterday. I’m the fourth person to resign over my team lead’s behaviour, though I only found this out after notifying my employer of my departure. There’s now one person on my team other than the lead himself.

This is a scary move for me. I don’t have another job lined up and there’s the knowledge that working for only eight months at my last place of employment is a black mark on my resume. These considerations gave me pause when I was deciding whether to leave or continue weathering the work environment.

Ultimately, it was the validation of knowing I wasn’t alone, the awareness that I had gained 30 lbs since starting due to stress, yet another condescending remark from my team lead, and an opportunity to drive across Canada and camp all through this beautiful country that pushed me to exit. I should remark that I worked very hard to try to correct the situation before I left, but the effort proved largely fruitless. I felt I made the right call when certain things happened in my final two weeks.

I’m going to use this trip to take care of myself, clear my head, and continue the work of rebuilding my self-esteem. Once out West, I’ll stay there for a short while and see my partner and friends.

After I fly back, I’ll take a month where I’m not looking for work. Instead, I’ll delve into two personal projects. A coding exercise as an excuse to learn new things, and a novel that I’m writing for my own benefit.

I’m proud of myself. Younger me would have stayed at this job, too risk-averse to jump into the unknown. Too anxious to take the opportunities before me. All to my own detriment. How things have changed.

See you on the flip side.