Maëlys McArdle

Category: Life

Every other post.

  • I need sad stories like I need sad music

    I need sad stories like I need sad music

    There are days I feel like shit.

    When I think a little too hard about how I’ll make ends meet in old age against the backdrop of ever-increasing rents and inaccessible home ownership.

    When I see friends post about their children after my own dreams were crushed. When they remind me they have a partner to go home to, and I have an empty bed.

    When I get worn down the threats, mockery, or assault of complete strangers, turning everyday activities into minefields.

    Much like there are good break-up songs to listen to, there are days that call for consuming fiction with bleak endings.

    There’s a real taboo with such endings in fiction outside of horror; it’s perceived as a downer. To me it’s always having things end on an uplifting note that feels isolating.

    Don’t get me wrong; I need happy content too. But just as I’m sometimes in the mood for sad music, some days I need sad stories too.

  • Northern Lights

    I was able to capture this video last night, at Pinhey’s Point:

    This was also the weekend of the butter tart festival in Stittsville. The one on the right was a delicious Biscoff Caramel butter tart by Ritual on Main:

    This has been a very Canadian moment.

  • Bystander intervention for autocracy

    Bystander intervention for autocracy

    The Market

    I was sipping a pop in the Byward Market when a man started to harass me. I’m no stranger to being targeted in the market or over gender-conformity and I ignored him. He alternated between yelling “You’re intersex; I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman” and “if you’re a man I’d kick your ass”. When that didn’t elicit the reaction he wanted, he took to repeatedly calling me “fat ass”.

    He finally placed himself at my feet and uttered “if you’re a man, I’ll kick your ass”. I looked up but didn’t say a word; people often gender me male after hearing my voice. He walked away.

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  • Back to the Yukon

    Back to the Yukon

    I got to back to the Yukon this past week, this time with Joy. It’s only been a few months since my last visit. We hit up the Dempster Highway, the Tombstone Territorial Park, among other spots.

    More than any other place in Canada, I could see myself living in Whitehorse. That said, it was colder than I expected – some days starting in the single digits despite having travelled in August.

  • Turning 40

    Turning 40

    I’ve reached middle age. It’s neat to have this on my blog, where I documented turning 21, turning 30, and now 40.

    At the start of my thirties, I was living with four lovely roommates while working in tech and lobbying for trans rights in Parliament. I didn’t know it yet, but I was also incredibly insecure, felt stunted by my fear of the unknown, and employed toxic communication patterns to soothe difficult feelings.

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