More PlentyOfFish Trolling

Typical opening message, typical answer

Him: wow heyy cutie your sexy

Me: Yes I miss the simplicity of Newtonian physics myself.

Him: lol whats that mean… so what are you lookin for hun

Someone finally clues in

Him: LOL Great profile..lol

Me: Thank you. Glad you read it, you’d be one of a very select few.

Him: I do like it. So, who is the real you? I’m guessing that’s not your real pic & age lol

Me: Nope, and congratulations on figuring it out. You’re the first since I started this profile three days ago.

[I then give an honest explanation of what I’m doing.]

More of Mr. Ankle-socks. I felt bad for him in the end when I realized he was not an average kinkster, but in fact mentally deficient. I quickly put an end to the conversation.

Him: Would you ever sell yer dirty anklet socks? ;p

Me: I could be a one-woman factory; and ship my old panties/socks to vending machines, Japanese style.

Him: hehe ok, that is wrong 🙂 you could be really sweet and send me just a pair of your cute socks instead?

Him: You are really beautiful and I see very smart btw.

Him: So I take it you wouldn’t offer your socks? Please?

Me: It requires effort for me to mail them.

Him: I understand. I would pay you for your effort? Please? 🙂

Me: How much?

Him: Depends I guess… how many socks, etc? Do you have any cute pairs now dirty? I would really love even 1 pair….

Me: Define “dirty”? And would two pairs work?

Him: Well worn.. visibilly dirty.. little stinky? 🙂 Two pairs would be heaven.

Me: I can maybe arrange that. How much would you pay for them?

Him: What do you think is fair? I don’t wanna offend you.. I’ve honestly only ever done this once. I try 🙂

Me: You won’t. Make an offer.

Him: Any footwear you’d be willing to offer, socks, heels, flats, etc. 🙂 Paticularly socks since we are already discussing that and they are easy to mail…

Me: Can’t afford to give up my footwear.

Him: $50? I don’t know love. You tell me? I would really love anything you sent me.

Me: That’s fine. Where do I ship them to? You can send the money after to the return address on the letter.

Him: Very nice. I would be willing to do this again as well if you were up for it but we will see how the first time goes 🙂 You will send them when?

Me: When you give me your address.

Him: Thank you! Please let me know when they are mailed..

[THE PERSON’S FULL ADDRESS]
Sarnia, ON

Me: Sweet. Will do.

Him: Do you have 2 pairs now nice and worn? Anything but black please and thanks…

Me: Hi I’m Tasha’s father. I stumbled on this series of messages while I was reading through her mail. You can keep your money; I’m not going to let her send any socks. Please move on to talking to other users on this site.

Him: I apologize, I was mistaking Tasha for LAURA…Katrina. Outstanding. How coincidental, isn’t it? Please don’t commit to something if you haven’t intentions to follow through. Thanks anyway. Sorry to bother you.

I couldn’t resist

Him: how r u ? how was ur day ? how was yesterday did u feel the quack ? so u just looking to hang out ?

Me: I didn’t feel up the quack, no.

Him: so u just looking to hang out or u looking for more ?

29 year old, topless in all of his profile pictures

Him: love your pics you look incrdible hows your day going xoxoxoxo

Him: you look so good in that skirt

Me: So do you.

Him: aww thank you your so sweet what r u up too this weekend

Him: m so suprised your single your the cutest thing ive scene in awhile wish you where here cuddlying me

Me: I hope your competency at screwing is better than your mastery of the English language.

Him: lol im an Grade A student in screwing i take it your a master at both the english language and screwing

Me: No, I’m just good enough in English so that I don’t come across as a tard whose sole interest is to get in someone’s pants.

Comments

3 responses to “More PlentyOfFish Trolling”

  1. Jeremy Avatar

    OMG! Is this wrong? I’m sure it is, yet it seems so right. I’m amazed at how many crackpots there are out there. It must be kinda scary in a way for someone honestly looking.

  2. Julien McArdle Avatar
    Julien McArdle

    Is it wrong? I’d argue no! Thing to note though: I don’t make first contact, and I only make fun of those that are worthy of appearing here. On that note.

    Him is a 30 year old man

    Him: hi there ,ok this may seem a little forward and im sorry for that. I am a amature photographer thats looking to expand my knowledge of portrait and human photography, i just stumbled across your profile and you have such amazing features that i would love to take your picture.

    Him is an older individual with a single sentence for a profile

    Him: you are very intelligent and well read … i hope we can chat sometimes about life and politics and the world

    Me: You’re older than my old man. A relationship here is not something that’s exactly feasible.

    Him: what about a relationship where i spoil you and buy you books at chapters and diner and gifts

    Me: Then it becomes artificial. I’m not for sale.

    Him is another older individual with a single sentence for a profile. See a theme here?

    Him: you dont look like of legal age… are you? if yes… woudl love to spoil you with fine dining… trips and shopping… like a lil princess. exciting?

    Me: Yes, I’m of legal age. I am, however, not for sale. You might be able to find someone better suited for that in Vanier.

  3. Julien McArdle Avatar
    Julien McArdle

    Him has no profile photo, and no description at all

    Him: How r u sexyy

    Me: How r u sexyy

    Him: U r really sexy am not jokin lol

    Me: So are you. And your profile just makes me want to jump you and have you f*ck me raw.

    Him: Ohhhhh y is that

    Me: I’m being sarcastic. You have no picture, much less a single sentence in your profile. The only thing I have to go on for you is that you think with your dick and you write like a 10 year old on speed.

    Him: Lol how old r u

    Me: What the hell. 11.

    Him: U r 11 omg

    Me: Yes, I’m an 11 year old who reads Nabokov.

    Me: Still interested?

    Him: no

    PlentyOfFish lets you know if your sent messsages were read, unread, and/or deleted. After receiving my last message, the individual deleted all messages sent from my fake account, as if to wipe his traces.