Maëlys McArdle

Category: Trans Rights

Discussions on trans rights and perceived gender non-conformity.

  • Gender F*cked

    Gender F*cked

    I stared at my cellphone. The phone number was there, I just had to press the icon of the phone to place the call. I couldn’t.

    The second day I did it. I explained to the person on the other end that I had called about being able to get an assessment for hormone replacement therapy. They thought that this wasn’t the right extension, but that they’d find the individual I was trying to get to and have them call me. They then asked me for my number. I froze.

    I couldn’t remember my own phone number. This had never happened. My old phone number came to mind. Was that my old one? My new one? I knew my email address. Could I give them that instead? They then read off her Caller ID and asked me if that was my number. It was. Thank goodness.

    I got a call back. I was told that this was a new program, and that they’d call me next week to schedule an appointment with for the assessment. That was in May.

    It doesn’t feel two months have passed.

    I’ve seen the social support worker twice now. I have four more appointments to go before I can get a referral to an endocrinologist. I’m really grateful for the program that’s giving me these free appointments, because the other avenue of approaching my family doctor just wasn’t an option.

    How far I’ve come, in so many ways. For those who have been around me during this time, especially those that just listened and opened up to me, I’d like to thank you. One of my greatest obstacles had been to overcome this feeling that what I was experiencing wasn’t real because it didn’t share the resolve of that narrative I heard over and over. You broke that perception down, and in doing so, made me feel a little less alone.

    There are many unknowns that remain in me. My head is a mess of strong emotions and anecdotes, wishes and pains. I’ve nonetheless decided to go ahead with the process of acquiring hormone replacement therapy. To make that call, book the appointments. First out of fear of deep regret if I waited while my body further masculinized, and then out of a nascent sense of confidence.

    The more time passes, the more I’m sure that that was the right thing to do. Having a future where my body becomes a part of me that helps me find joy, as opposed to being an impediment to that, is becoming viable. I don’t want to give the impression that everything is certain. It isn’t. But stories from those around me has given me strength to find myself, and I know that I won’t regret anything as I move forward.

    So where does that leave you and me.

    At this time, if I’m asked for my preferred pronouns, I answer they/them. I don’t correct people that use ‘he’. I don’t feel like either the trans or cis label fit me, jokingly referring to myself as gender fucked. You can use genderqueer. I would also caution against the erroneous assumption that my choice of labels diminishes the importance of transitioning for myself.

    Finally, I want to thank everyone that’s shown me kindness and acceptance.

  • Bill C-279

    Bill C-279

    I was in Parliament the other day, to attend the vote on the third reading of Bill C-279 in the House of Commons. It passed, despite the Conservative Party being near-unanimous in its opposition.

    Mr. Speaker, I stand today to present, on behalf of thousands of people who sent these to my office, petitions in opposition to Bill C-279, otherwise known as “the bathroom bill”, that would give transgendered men access to women’s public washroom facilities. These constituents feel that it is the duty of the House of Commons to protect and safeguard our children from any exposure and harm that would come from giving a man access to women’s public washroom facilities.

    Rob Anders, Conservative MP from Calgary West

    It wasn’t all good news. Gender expression was taken out of the bill. If you’re not familiar with gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality, I like to refer people to the Genderbread Person.

    1600-Genderbread-Person

    This bill passed by a hairline: 149 for, 137 against. It was a long time coming. Former MP Bill Siksay had spent many years trying to get such a bill through, only to have them die due to elections. Three times he had tabled that bill.

    Let’s be clear. When we talk about awful statistics with regards to “LGBT” people, it’s disproportionately represented by the “T” – and even more represented for trans women of colour. While this bill won’t change the minds of Canadians overnight, it is a small cog that facilitates a shift.

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    I know too many people who are no longer with us. I know too many people who have tried to leave. I know too many people who lost their families. This isn’t the exception, it’s almost the fucking norm.

    That Conservative MP openly called trans women a threat to women and children. Pedophiles, apparently. And this is so accepted, so normal, that no one bats an eye. No one calls him on it. If he was objecting to Jews or people of colour using a washroom – there’d be an outrage.

    But just like homophobic discourse is still acceptable today (see opposition to Manitoba’s anti-bullying bill), so too is transphobia. So yeah, I think this bill’s power isn’t so much the legislative repercussions, but the message it sends.

  • Trans Day of Remembrance

    Trans Day of Remembrance

    Saturday, November 20th, was the Transgender Day of Remembrance. In Ottawa, this was celebrated with the unraveling of a flag at the headquarters of the Ottawa Police, followed by a march to Parliament Hill and a candlelight vigil.

    NDP MP Bill Siksay, the man with the megaphone in the picture above, was there to speak about bill C-389. This private member’s bill, which he tabled, would “add gender identity and expression as prohibited grounds of discrimination to the Canadian Human Rights Act” (link).

    All in all, the mood was very joyous. The crowd was supportive, and Jay and I ended up having a nice long discussion with a trans woman. Growing up in the sixties, she experienced some horrific treatment by those around her. Things have changed since, but laws like this would ensure that there would be no buts or ifs about it.

    Canadians from all over came out for this event on Saturday. There was a solid contingent from Montreal (pictured above in the group photo), people from London and Toronto… it was just great to see.